Time is such a weird thing! It’s weird/cool how sometimes it goes by fast and sometimes it goes by so slow. It tortures sometimes, especially when I want time to go by fast and instead it goes by super slow. It has the power to heal the past (sometimes). And sometimes, it feels like it just stops.
But I’ve been thinking, lately, about how much has changed over the past few years. Now, it seems like such a blur. I still remember the times I used to spend with my family. All the vacations we used to take. How I used to want to own dogs. How we used to go to China every year. How my cousins and I used to hang out before any of us had wives/husbands or kids! How I used to think I would end up alone for the rest of my life (and I was fine with that back then). How I used to study all the time in undergrad. How I used to picture my parents being together for life. How I used to want to live alone with dogs. How I thought I was happy.
I still remember the day I met Jes for the very first time. I remember how we used to be acquaintances. How Jenna and Michelle used to joke about me and Jes being together (long before we were even dating). How I used to sit next to Jes in “orgo 2” but we wouldn’t talk that much. How we studied once for orgo together, where I showed him Totoro (what he calls Toro…hahaha). How we studied together in pchem because I just really didn’t get it (I was the dumb one, as always). How we were the only 2 people to go to Baer’s office hours (he probably thought we were weird and creepy). How Jes would make me promise to text him the morning of a pchem quiz to make sure he was awake!! How he would sometimes come in just on time! How he would always make fun of my yogurt I was eating for breakfast. How we used to look at how bad I did on those pchem quizzes! How I felt telling Kate about Jes and me. How hard it was going through that whole situation. How bad I felt for her and not being able to do anything to console her. How I got frustrated that our first ‘date’ was cancelled. How we ended up sneaking out of Odum and running in the rain and hiding under a roof and talking for hours (we almost slept there but then we decided to go back). How I was too stubborn to stop walking at Relay For Life (but I almost fainted and Jes made me stop). How we talked and talked for hours when I was having a rough time with my parents’ divorce. How we watched The Orphan that same night (he’s the only person I’ve watched a horror movie with for a very long time). How we talked about how much we both like to look up at the sky and see the stars. I remember I would always ask him weird questions about guys and how they think (I probably made him feel so uncomfortable….sorry Jes!!). How he was too nice to tell me that he didn’t like salmon. How I was scarred for life after watching ‘how to kill a frog by boiling it slowly’ on youtube with him in Davis Library. How we used to get a whole bag of Alpine bagels and then eat those all day while we were stuck in the library studying. How I felt the night he asked me out on the way to the Duke-UNC game. How he grabbed my hand for the first time. How I felt the first time Jes told me he loved me. How nervous I felt when I met his family for the first time. I was so scared that they would hate me. How I felt when I fell in love with his family and that sense of family and belonging. The first time I saw Jes try on his white coat! How proud we were of Leon when he got potty-trained. How we became parents to 2 pups. The look on Jes’s face when we figured out he did well on his Step1. And many many more!
I can’t believe so much has happened in these past 2.5-3 years! It’s so crazy how time works. How there are times when I want it to just hurry up. And how there are other times when I want it to slow down. I’m still amazed at how much has happened. And now it’s hard to believe that after all these years (dating and not dating) how much we have really gone through. Soon, we’ll be officially ‘married’, and that’s just mind-blowing! Three years ago, if you had told me I would be able to marry my best friend, I would have laughed and said ‘yeah right’. But now I can’t believe it’s actually coming true! I feel so blessed to have such an amazing best friend to spend the rest of my life with. It always brings tears to my eyes, every time I think about it. I already get sad when he’s on-call. I just can’t imagine living life without him by my side. He truly is my other (better) half.
PS. It’s kind of weird writing one of the last (text) posts as a ‘Huang’….?
I want to do this some day!